Some Standards Please

An open letter to my fellow faculty members:

I am sick of students complaining that I am holding a class the day before a holiday, because YOU cancelled class.

I am sick of students wanting to know why my final isn’t ‘voluntary’ because YOU made your final ‘voluntary’.

I am sick of students complaining that there is too much reading for my class because YOU don’t assign much reading.

I am sick of students not doing the reading for my class because YOU didn’t hold them accountable for what you assigned.

I am sick of students complaining about their papers being graded for grammar because YOU don’t require high standards.

I am sick of students coming by my office with questions about your classes because YOU never manage to make it to office hours.

I am sick of students dropping my course when they learn about the 12-15 page research paper because YOU never assign anything longer than 3-5 pages.

I am sick of students not knowing how to write an essay exam because YOU only give multiple choice and short answer questions.

I am sick of students begging to watch a film in my class because YOU always show movies.

I am sick of students shopping around for the easiest courses because YOU give out all As.

I am sick of students texting in class and surfing the internet on their laptops because YOU don’t require them to put their phones/computers away before lecture starts.

I am sick of students thinking plagiarizing and cheating is no big deal, because YOU can’t be bothered to report them to the Provost.

I am sick of students not knowing what a scholarly source is because YOU never assign research papers.

Is it too much to expect a little help from my fellow faculty in maintaining some high standards for students?